Been there done that. Your spokes are correct it is your spoke pattern that is off. Remove the spokes except for the first set (9) try putting the nipple on the spoke until you only have 3-4 spoke threads showing, this should help eliminate the ease of missing the cross-over point which will be very near the hub, any higher and you have missed by 4 rim holes and the first set of spokes will appear later as too long,
Any nut/bolt, spoke/nipple that is to be torqued should have a light coat of oil or grease to prevent friction and give a more accurate torque. This applies to the head of the spoke nipple/rim.